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There is nothing quite a corny as the jokes that musicians tell on their breaks. Be warned, if you play banjo or accordian, don't read these unless you have a thick skin!
There is nothing quite a corny as the jokes that musicians tell on their breaks. Be warned, if you play banjo or accordian, don't read these unless you have a thick skin!
After years of hiding the fact that the love is gone, the last child moves out of the house and Mom and Dad announce they're getting a divorce.
The kids are distraught and hire a marriage counselor as a last resort at keeping their parents together.
The counselor works for hours, tries all of his methods, but the couple still won't talk to each other. Finally, he goes over to a closet, brings out a beautiful upright bass and begins to play.
After a minute or so, the couple starts talking and they discover that they're not actually that far apart and decide to give their marriage another try.
The kids are amazed and ask the counselor how he managed to do it.
He replies, "I've never seen a couple that wouldn't talk through a bass solo."
Banjo jokes
What's the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
The chain saw has greater dynamic range.
What's the least-used sentence in the English language?
"Isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?"
What do you say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise?"
There's nothing I like better than the sound of a banjo, unless of course it's the sound of a chicken caught in a vacuum cleaner.
Accordian jokes
What's the first thing an accordian player says at work?
"Would you like fries with that?"
What's a gentleman? - Somebody who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't.
What do you call an accordion player with a beeper? - An optimist.
What's the range of an accordion? - Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
What's the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist? - Terrorists have sympathisers.
What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? - No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.
What's the difference between an accordion and a concertina? - The accordion takes longer to burn.
What's an accordion good for? - Learning how to fold a map.
Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses? - So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.
If you drop an accordion, a set of bagpipes and a banjo off a 20-story building, which one lands first? - Who cares?
What do you call ten accordions at the bottom of the ocean? - A good start.
How do you protect something that is really valuable? - Hide it in an accordion case.